Indiana Jones vs. Smaug

Greetings from everyone’s favorite wannabe author. As expected, the holiday party for my store left me with one more completed chapter for my book Never Heroes, forty finished pages on the amazing Salem’s Lot, and a belly full of salad, biscuits, chicken and potatoes. As for my free gift, I got an electric iron. Was unaware people still used those things, but I’m sure someone I know will find use for it.

I haven’t done much writing since the party given my increased search for film related work. I have four interviews this week, so hopefully that will lead to something. Given the paperwork I need to fill out tonight, I don’t expect to resume work on Never Heroes until tomorrow. But that doesn’t mean I still can’t have some fun.

Temple-of-doom-Indiana-Jones

I must once again state my undying love for the Indiana Jones series. To me, that is the standard by which I judge all other adventure stories. Like most of us, I always love to imagine how other favorites would be influenced by an outside character, in this case the Middle Earth saga.

Though I loved Tolkien as a person and learned much from him, I wasn’t really enamored with his work until this last year. Strange considering I’m writing a fantasy novel, but lets move on. Being a fantasy series, there will obviously be treasure, which would be fertile ground for a treasure hunter like the good Dr. Jones, but who could he fight? Not Sauron. I have no doubt Jones could pull off a gun vs. sword miracle in that case, but there was another rival that seemed more fitting. Jones is the ultimate treasure hunter, so he should go up against the ultimate treasure hoarder. Smaug the dragon.

indiana-jones-vs-smaug

It seemed like a match made in heaven to me. I made the above meme as a giggle and shared it with friends on Facebook. We all hope a little meme we make will go viral. Apparently though someone already did something similar with Smaug and Kylo Ren. Not sure why other than Star Wars fans trying to stick it to Tolkien, in which case, shame on you Warsies. Stop trying to kick everyone else off the geek mountain. You’re making the other Warsies look bad.

Of course there was another way to indulge in my fantasy, and that is my habit of making fake movie posters.

the-science-redemption-re-mastered-completed

I love the art of movie posters, in particular Drew Struzan’s work which I always found appealing. Now I can’t paint to save my life…I think. But I do know a few tricks in photoshop to simulate the look of paint using photographs and a few filters. I did the above poster a few years back as part of my Everything Is Better With Carl Sagan series, and I’m still very proud of it. By the way, I’m a pretty religious guy, so I don’t want to hear anybody say I’m bashing religion with this picture.

I could clearly do a good fake poster, so why not a fake movie poster for Indy’s battle with Smaug? I even had the plot worked out. While studying artifacts in Eastern Culture, Indy is transported to Middle Earth where he saves Gandalf and Bilbo’s party from some baddies. Indy learns that an artifact that may have the power to send him back to his world is in the realm of the ferocious Smaug, so he uncurls the whip and joins the party on what may be the greatest adventure of his life. But some have other ideas. Evil wizard Saruman believes Indy’s world is ripe to be conquered, and wants to use him as a tool that will lead him and Sauron back to our world. Will Indy succeed in returning home and preventing the evils of Middle Earth from following him?

So, without further delay, ladies and gentlemen I give you….

indiana-jones-and-the-halls-of-erebor

This is easily my photoshop masterpiece, and it’s hard to say what will dethrone it in due time. Why did I do this? Just for fun. It felt good to take a short break from the land of Haiden to create a blend of the two series that jointly inspired my book.

Come on guys. This would be awesome. Indy and Gandalf would undoubtedly have much to talk about, Indy could call Bilbo ‘Short Round’ all the time and lots of orcs get shot and thrown under carriages. If you wouldn’t pay to see that, you either don’t have the money or don’t have the soul.

Hope you enjoyed today’s random post. Feel free to whore out-I mean share my posters at your leisure as long as you link back to the site here.

Catch y’all later.

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19 thoughts on “Indiana Jones vs. Smaug

  1. I love that Indiana Jones poster! Especially Galadriel as the (possibly evil) love interest. Indy calling Bilbo “Short Round” cracks me up far more than it should.

    I get the feeling he and Gandalf would not get along with each other. Indy would be all “Rawr! Science beats up magic.” and Gandalf would smack him on the head with his staff and call him a “fool of a Took”. Indy would rub his head and wonder what exactly a Took was.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was loads of fun to put together. Galadriel isn’t like Dr. Schneider from Last Crusade. She’s firmly on the side of good here. I also get the feeling that Indy and Gandalf would clash often, but they’d mend things and grow to respect and value each other as things went on.

      Liked by 1 person

      • This is probably a total nerd thing to mention, but…for me, it didn’t feel like an Indiana Jones film. All of the other Indy films followed the same set pattern: Action sequence not connected to the main plot, see Indy in his normal life, introduce important story characters/mystery item to find, kick Indy out the door to adventure and finding mystery item. Crystal Skull skipped over all of the introductory stuff and started at what felt like the mid-way point. So, we don’t know Cate Blanchett’s character the way we know Donovan or Belloq. She’s just standard evil Russian chick.

        Oh. And magical refrigerator.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Agreed. It would be like if you took Indy and put him in something like Die Hard or Aliens. They’re great movies, but it just wouldn’t work for the expectations that come with the character. Honestly, Indy in Middle Earth sounds more fitting than what Crystal Skull ended up doing.

        Liked by 1 person

    • I’m enjoying it a lot as I haven’t seen any of the adaptations yet, so this is all completely new for me. Though the 70s miniseries by Tobe Hooper looks pretty great. If I’m not mistaken, King cites this as his favorite book that he’s done also.

      Liked by 1 person

      • A movie rarely is, though there are some cases. I believe King actually liked the DePalma adaptation of Carrie better than his own book. I’m still excited to see the original 70s miniseries as I’m a huge fan of Tobe Hooper from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist. I love that they made Barlow look like the vampire from Nosferatu.

        Liked by 1 person

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