Indiana Jones vs. Smaug

Greetings from everyone’s favorite wannabe author. As expected, the holiday party for my store left me with one more completed chapter for my book Never Heroes, forty finished pages on the amazing Salem’s Lot, and a belly full of salad, biscuits, chicken and potatoes. As for my free gift, I got an electric iron. Was unaware people still used those things, but I’m sure someone I know will find use for it.

I haven’t done much writing since the party given my increased search for film related work. I have four interviews this week, so hopefully that will lead to something. Given the paperwork I need to fill out tonight, I don’t expect to resume work on Never Heroes until tomorrow. But that doesn’t mean I still can’t have some fun.

I must once again state my undying love for the Indiana Jones series. To me, that is the standard by which I judge all other adventure stories. Like most of us, I always love to imagine how other favorites would be influenced by an outside character, in this case the Middle Earth saga.

Though I loved Tolkien as a person and learned much from him, I wasn’t really enamored with his work until this last year. Strange considering I’m writing a fantasy novel, but lets move on. Being a fantasy series, there will obviously be treasure, which would be fertile ground for a treasure hunter like the good Dr. Jones, but who could he fight? Not Sauron. I have no doubt Jones could pull off a gun vs. sword miracle in that case, but there was another rival that seemed more fitting. Jones is the ultimate treasure hunter, so he should go up against the ultimate treasure hoarder. Smaug the dragon.

It seemed like a match made in heaven to me. I made the above meme as a giggle and shared it with friends on Facebook. We all hope a little meme we make will go viral. Apparently though someone already did something similar with Smaug and Kylo Ren. Not sure why other than Star Wars fans trying to stick it to Tolkien, in which case, shame on you Warsies. Stop trying to kick everyone else off the geek mountain. You’re making the other Warsies look bad.

Of course there was another way to indulge in my fantasy, and that is my habit of making fake movie posters.

I love the art of movie posters, in particular Drew Struzan’s work which I always found appealing. Now I can’t paint to save my life…I think. But I do know a few tricks in photoshop to simulate the look of paint using photographs and a few filters. I did the above poster a few years back as part of my Everything Is Better With Carl Sagan series, and I’m still very proud of it. By the way, I’m a pretty religious guy, so I don’t want to hear anybody say I’m bashing religion with this picture.

I could clearly do a good fake poster, so why not a fake movie poster for Indy’s battle with Smaug? I even had the plot worked out. While studying artifacts in Eastern Culture, Indy is transported to Middle Earth where he saves Gandalf and Bilbo’s party from some baddies. Indy learns that an artifact that may have the power to send him back to his world is in the realm of the ferocious Smaug, so he uncurls the whip and joins the party on what may be the greatest adventure of his life. But some have other ideas. Evil wizard Saruman believes Indy’s world is ripe to be conquered, and wants to use him as a tool that will lead him and Sauron back to our world. Will Indy succeed in returning home and preventing the evils of Middle Earth from following him?

So, without further delay, ladies and gentlemen I give you….

This is easily my photoshop masterpiece, and it’s hard to say what will dethrone it in due time. Why did I do this? Just for fun. It felt good to take a short break from the land of Haiden to create a blend of the two series that jointly inspired my book.

Come on guys. This would be awesome. Indy and Gandalf would undoubtedly have much to talk about, Indy could call Bilbo ‘Short Round’ all the time and lots of orcs get shot and thrown under carriages. If you wouldn’t pay to see that, you either don’t have the money or don’t have the soul.

Hope you enjoyed today’s random post. Feel free to whore out-I mean share my posters at your leisure as long as you link back to the site here.

Catch y’all later.